The Gottman Method: Does Gottman Method improve your relationships?

The Gottman Method: Does Gottman Method improve your relationships?

We know that most couples have celebrated their love in the valentine’s week recently. Happy couples make the best relationship. In a relationship, it is very important to love, understand, and know your partner. Sometimes, things do not turn out as smoothly as expected. Marriages and relationships require a lot of sacrifices and adjustments. Most couples fail in doing both, and that results in misunderstandings and fights between them. This often leads to marital problems, separations, and divorce. Therefore, it is suggested that all couples follow the Gottman Method of Couple Therapy. This therapy will be beneficial for them in many ways.

What is the Gottman Method?

Developed by Dr John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman, the Gottman Method is a type of Couple Therapy or Relationship Therapy. Gottman Therapy uses research-based interventions on the grounds of the Sound Relationship House theory. It specifies all the elements required for a healthy relationship. Besides this, it aims in disarming the conflicts of verbal communication, increasing the level of intimacy, love, and respect in relationships. It removes the problems that create a stagnant feeling and creates a sense of empathy by understanding the main context of a relationship.

The Background of Gottman Therapy

The Gottman Method of couples therapy has been a scientific study over decades. For 40 years, John Gottman has performed empirical studies of 4000 couples. He, along with his partner Robert Levenson at that time, calculated a longitudinal study series which showed that marriage may result in divorce or may succeed based on how couples interact with each other.

The interactions of married couples remain stable over time, and almost 69% of the problems remain unsolved due to personality differences between the couples. Negative interactions and arguments are common in every couple. The Relationship Therapy of the Gottman Method concluded that this negativity happens due to conflict navigation between the couples. It is the expression of emotions between both individuals that decide whether to stay together or leave each other.

It is also surveyed that couples who live together experience five interactions in a positive way for every interaction in a negative way in an argument. Couples who’ve decided to part ways also agree to the behaviours referred to as “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” in the Gottman Therapy. They are:-

  • Criticism
  • Defensiveness
  • Hatred
  • Stop communicating

Techniques to follow the Gottman Method

Gottman Method uses the Sound Relationship House theory, which metaphors house as a symbol of safe and secure marriage. They offer seven “floors” or techniques that a couple may adapt for improving their relationship. They are:-

  • Building love maps so we know about each other’s psychological words.
  • Sharing of fondness and admiration so that they can love and respect one another for strengthening their bond.
  • Turning towards each other when either of them is seeking affection, attention, comfort, and love, and the other one is responding simultaneously.
  • Seeing each other’s abilities and disabilities in a positive way and not as failures.
  • Managing conflicts between each other by understanding, discussing, and solving the problem.
  • Becoming a partner to each other in fulfilling each other’s dreams.
  • Conversing on topics on which they can share a common meaning. It will help build an inner world within themselves by unveiling their stories and rituals.
  • Building the relationship and making their love stronger by trust and commitment towards each other.

These Techniques will help the couples to strengthen their relationships using new skills.

Why the Gottman Method is considered to improve relationships?

The Gottman Method tries to maintain the uniqueness of relationships as per the individuality of the couples. They also help couples deal with different types of conflicts and relationship issues. People at any stage, race, and class are benefitted in relationships if they follow the Gottman Method. Couples Therapy includes some actionable steps which prepare the couples for a long-term relationship or marriage.

The Gottman Method has improved relationships over the years. Many couples from near and far follow their principles. In the points mentioned below, we will understand why The Gottman Method in couples therapy is considered to improve relationships.

  • Effectiveness:- Recent studies have proven that the Gottman Method is highly effective as it offers retreats as well as workshop sessions for married couples. It enhances compatibility, intimacy, and love in a relationship.
  • Expectations level:- The method starts with a joint session between the therapist and the couple. Each person is questioned individually so that they can help the therapist to picturise their relationship. This will help the therapist to provide suggestions that will increase the stability and the value of their bond.
  • Considerable:- You should choose a Gottman Therapist if you decide to work on the commitment nature of your relationship. The session is rough and intense, and they are sure to develop new skills in the couple individually.
  • New beginning:- There are several plans in the workshop sessions for the couples who are hesitant to try the Gottman Method. They offer retreats and workshops for two days, along with webinars and online coaching. The couples are given extra flexibility in taking the sessions. The Therapists are certified doctors with MA and PhD degrees. They also went through additional training in the institute of Gottman to attain the certificate.


The Gottman Method not just focuses on improving relationship skills but also helps educate couples about a healthy relationship. This increases the insights of love and companionship dynamics to continue their relationship always and forever.

We hope you have understood how and why Gottman Method improves relationships. In case you’re suffering from any kind of relationship problems, you may take this therapy soon. It will increase love and make your bond tighter than your jeans!

We hope this article has helped you and we would love to know about your views on it. Please let us know in the comments below.


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